How to Eliminate Worry

Co-authored by Chloe Carmichael, PhD

Last Updated: December 20, 2023 Approved

Do you catch yourself thinking about the same things over and over again? Do you often think about things that haven't happened, but could happen? If so, you probably suffer from worrying. Worrying is a form of thinking. ^{[1]
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Research source} It can be repetitive and non-productive because it doesn’t solve a situation, and at times, it can make situations worse. When you worry, your stress levels rise. This can affect decision-making skills, your happiness, and relationships. Worrying can seem like not a big deal at first, but it can quickly get out of control and take over your life.^{[2]
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Research source} If you feel as though you can't control your worrisome thoughts any longer, it's time to take back control of your mind and eliminate worry.

Method 1

Method 1 of 5:

Identifying Worry

1
Know what worry is. You can't solve a problem if you don't know what it is, so the first thing to do is learn what worry feels like to you.
- Write down when you think you are worrying. It may help to start with writing down how you feel and then what is happening around you and the thoughts you are having. Notice how your body is feeling - are your muscles tense or maybe your stomach aches. You can then go back and analyze what led you to feeling the way you did.
- Ask people around you to help you identify when you're worrying. Sometimes when people worry, they ask a multitude of questions attempting to feel as though they know what is to come. Usually, people who worry will talk about it and their friends and family will know they are worrying. Having them point it out will help you learn about how you worry.
2
Separate what is and is not reality. Worrying lies in the unknown. It makes sense because the unknown can be frightening. There are a lot of what-ifs wrapped up in the future. The problem with what-ifs is that they may never become problems and you'll end up worrying for nothing. This is why worrying is unproductive. It’s important when identifying worry to know if you are concerned about something that is actually happening or something that COULD happen.
- Write down what you're worrying about.^{[3]
  X
  Research source} Circle what is actually happening and cross out what is not happening but could happen. Focus on only what is happening because that's all you can deal with right now.
- It is ok to plan and prepare for the future, but once you have done so, accept that you have done all you can do for now.
3
Ask yourself if your thoughts are productive. When thinking about situations, it can be easy to get off course and start thinking about what could happen. When you’re in a stressful situation, it can be difficult to know if you are on the right path of dealing with it because of your worrying. Asking yourself if what you’re thinking can help you get out of the situation. If it doesn’t, you know you are worrying.
- An example of this is dealing with a car that has broken down. You need to get to work, but have no idea how you're going to get there with no car. You immediately start to think about how if you don't get to work, you're going to lose your job. You then think about how you won't have money to pay your rent, and you may lose your apartment. As you can see, you can quickly unravel. However, if you focus on the situation at hand, you won't have to deal with losing your job or apartment. That can be quite a relief since you really don't know if those things are going to happen.
- You love your children so much. You don't ever want anything to happen to them, so you take every precaution necessary to ensure they do not get sick. You stay up at night thinking about all of the ways they could have gotten hurt that day. Focusing on them being healthy, safe, and happy will allow you to spend quality time with them that they will benefit from, so bringing yourself back to the present will help you do that and end the downward spiral of worrying.
4
Write down the things you worry about from the past, present, and future. Some people worry about the past and how it has affected them. Other people worry about what they do now and how it will affect their future. There are even people who worry about all of them, so their past, present, and future. Write down your worries to give you a sense of catharsis and relief in the moment. ^{[4]
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Research source}
- Use a journal to write down what you worry about each day. You may choose to do this at the end of the day or just jot a worry down every time you have one.
- Use your smartphone to type in each one of your worries. You can use the memo app or an app for journaling.
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Method 2

Method 2 of 5:

Venting about What Worries You

1
Talk to someone you trust. It can help to talk about what worries you. Choose a friend or family member that will understand how you’re feeling.
- Let your loved one know that you understand that you are worrying, but you need to get it out of your head, so you can move on. Most of the time, loved ones will understand and be more than happy to be your soundboard.
- If possible, find someone who has the same worries as you, so you can feel less alone in your worrying. You can then both work on calming fears by focusing on what you both know is true at the moment.
- Sometimes worry is brought on by feeling like you are going through something hard all alone. Talking with someone can help offer you support and comfort.
Continue to write until you can’t write about it anymore. This free form of writing can unlock some of the things your subconscious is dealing with at the moment. It can be surprising to see what you write down afterward because many times, your worries are wrapped up in things that you really don't understand consciously.^{[5]
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Research source}
3
Speak to a therapist about your worries. A professional can help you vent the worries, process them and then let them go. Therapists understand that worrying is a state of mind that can be changed. You just need to work on it and follow the guidance of your therapist.
- Find a therapist that has experience helping people who worry or have anxiety disorders.
- Let the therapist know that you are working on eliminating worry, so you can be happier.
- Don't be afraid to discuss your worries in depth. Sometimes, that's the only way to get them out and gone.
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Method 3

Method 3 of 5:

Letting Worry Go

Since you want to care for yourself, you don't want to hurt yourself in any way. Worrying can hurt you, so remind yourself of that. Usually, when people are able to be honest with themselves, they have an easier time letting go of the worry.
2
Count your breaths.^{[6]
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Research source} Breathe in through your nose and then breathe out through your mouth. Count your breaths since worry can be exasperated with high-stress levels, this will reduce those levels.
- If you continue to worry as you are breathing, allow yourself to consider it for a moment and then breathe it away. Use your breath to blow the worries away from you.
- Do as many you need to feel relaxed. Some people will do 10 breaths, while others will do breathe in and out 20 times. You don't even have to decide before you start this technique. Allow yourself to gauge if you need to continue when you hit 10 .
3
Give yourself 30 minutes ^{[7]
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Research source} to worry. Learn to control your worry by allowing yourself only 30 minutes. Once your 30 minutes is up, tell yourself that you need to focus on other things. It may help to set a timer so that you are not tempted to worry after your time is up.
- Try creating a set time every day for worrying or thinking about problems. If you find yourself worrying outside of this time, jot down whatever you're thinking about in a notepad or on your phone. Then, come back to it during your set worry time.^{[8]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Chloe Carmichael, PhD
  Licensed Clinical Psychologist, Author of Nervous Energy
  
  Expert Interview.}
4
Use the thought-stopping technique. ^{[9]
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Research source} As soon as you start to worry, tell yourself to stop. The action of telling yourself to stop replaces the negative thought ^{[10]
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Research source}. You can do it aloud or you can use self-talk to tell yourself. Many therapists use this technique to help people avoid negative thoughts. As soon as a worry enters your mind, telling yourself to stop can help you let go of it quickly. Just keep in mind this is a learned behavior. It may not be effective at first, but after some practice, you may just be able to stop any worrisome thought in its tracks. This technique works better for some people more than others. If you find this technique doesn’t work for you, try mindfulness instead.
- Try making a list of about 5 things you can think about instead of worrying. That will make it easier to shift your focus when the anxious thoughts start.^{[11]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Chloe Carmichael, PhD
  Licensed Clinical Psychologist, Author of Nervous Energy
  
  Expert Interview.}
Place a rubber band ^{[12]
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Research source} on your wrist and snap it every time you worry. This is a type of thought stopping and it can help you to stop worrisome thoughts, then focus back on the present.
Studies ^{[13]
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Research source} show that people who use their hands are less likely to worry. When you're focused on whatever is in your hands, you won't be focusing on what you're thinking about for too long. You may want to put a string of beads in your hands or use a stress ball. Try counting the beads, or squeezing the ball in a rhythm.

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Method 4

Method 4 of 5:

Taking Care of Yourself

1
Get enough sleep. Most people need seven to ten hours of sleep a night. ^{[14]
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Research source} Since sleep deprivation can contribute to elevated stress levels, which leads to worry, it’s important to get enough sleep.
- If you have trouble sleeping at night because of your worrying, speak to your doctor. Sleep aids may be needed to get your sleep back under control, and that may be enough to eliminate worry.
- For those who want a natural sleep aid, consider taking melatonin.^{[15]
  X
  Research source} Speak to your doctor before taking it to make sure it's safe for you.
The vitamins and nutrients you get from healthy foods can help reduce your blood pressure and improve brain functioning, which can help with stress. ^{[16]
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Research source} This can then lead you to worry less.
3
Exercise. ^{[17]
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Trustworthy Source

Mayo Clinic
Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals

Go to source} Exercise reduces stress, so you don’t worry as much. When you are worrying, it can help to go for a run since it’s difficult to be physically active and worry. Vigorous activity can also release endorphins, which can calm you while giving you energy to get through the day.
- Go for a bike ride with beautiful scenery around you.
- Run through a park.
- Play tennis with a friend.
- Walk through gardens
- Go hiking through the woods with friends.
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Method 5

Method 5 of 5:

Meditating

Studies ^{[18]
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Research source} report that meditation can relieve anxiety in the brain. This is because meditation has a calming effect on the brain. Since worry is rooted in anxiety, getting your nerves under control can help you worry less or not at all.
2
Sit with your legs crossed and place your arms down beside you. This relaxes your body. When you are able to relax your body, your mind takes that as a sign that you are not in danger and it can start the process of relaxation.
- If you can't cross your legs, sit in any way that is comfortable for you.
- You can lie down, but be sure not to get too comfortable or you may fall asleep.
- If you sit in a chair, be sure there is a soft area around you in case you do fall asleep during meditation. This can happen to some people because of the intense relaxation they experience.
3
Close your eyes and focus on your breathing. You have an inner calming mechanism - your breath. When you focus on breathing, you will notice if you are breathing too quickly. If you are, just slow it down by breathing in deeper and exhaling completely.
- Try counting down your breaths.^{[19]
  X
  Research source} Breathe in for three seconds and then breathe out for another three seconds. Hold your breath for just a second or two before you exhale. Keep it all slow and steady to relax.
4
Focus on how you feel right at that moment and allow yourself to feel peace. Pay attention to what is going on inside of you while you are meditating. If you feel anxious, repeat the word “calm.”^{[20]
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Research source} You may pick a different word or even a sound, as long as it is something that calms you.
- If you think of something that worries you, don't fight it off or you'll just get anxious. Consider it for a moment and then let it go. You may even want to say, "Let it go..."
To bring yourself back to your day, open your eyes slowly, sit quietly for a moment, and then get on your feet. Stretch if you need to and walk away feeling relaxed and totally at peace. Easing yourself into your day will keep you from getting anxious, which can lead you to start worrying again.

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Expert Q&A

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Question

How do you stop worrying about the future?

Chloe Carmichael, PhD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist, Author of Nervous Energy
Chloe Carmichael, PhD is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist who runs a private practice in New York City. With over a decade of psychological consulting experience, Dr. Chloe specializes in relationship issues, stress management, self esteem, and career coaching. She has also instructed undergraduate courses at Long Island University and has served as adjunct faculty at the City University of New York. Dr. Chloe completed her PhD in Clinical Psychology at Long Island University in Brooklyn, New York and her clinical training at Lenox Hill Hospital and Kings County Hospital. She is accredited by the American Psychological Association and is the author of “Nervous Energy: Harness the Power of Your Anxiety” and “Dr. Chloe's 10 Commandments of Dating.”

Chloe Carmichael, PhD

Licensed Clinical Psychologist, Author of Nervous Energy

Expert Answer

Take action if you need to. Worrying is one way your body tries to tell you to take action. If there is a healthy way to do something about your worries, now is the time to do it. For example, if you're worried about your financial future, schedule an appointment with a financial planner.

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Question

How do you stop worrying about things you can't control?

Chloe Carmichael, PhD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist, Author of Nervous Energy
Chloe Carmichael, PhD is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist who runs a private practice in New York City. With over a decade of psychological consulting experience, Dr. Chloe specializes in relationship issues, stress management, self esteem, and career coaching. She has also instructed undergraduate courses at Long Island University and has served as adjunct faculty at the City University of New York. Dr. Chloe completed her PhD in Clinical Psychology at Long Island University in Brooklyn, New York and her clinical training at Lenox Hill Hospital and Kings County Hospital. She is accredited by the American Psychological Association and is the author of “Nervous Energy: Harness the Power of Your Anxiety” and “Dr. Chloe's 10 Commandments of Dating.”

Chloe Carmichael, PhD

Licensed Clinical Psychologist, Author of Nervous Energy

Expert Answer

Utilize spot replacement. If there are no actions you can take about your worries, replace your thoughts with something more productive. For example, if you're worried about your financial future, but you know you've done everything you can to put your finances in order, come up with a mental shortlist of five things to think about other than your finances.

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Question

How do you stop worrying so much?

Chloe Carmichael, PhD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist, Author of Nervous Energy
Chloe Carmichael, PhD is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist who runs a private practice in New York City. With over a decade of psychological consulting experience, Dr. Chloe specializes in relationship issues, stress management, self esteem, and career coaching. She has also instructed undergraduate courses at Long Island University and has served as adjunct faculty at the City University of New York. Dr. Chloe completed her PhD in Clinical Psychology at Long Island University in Brooklyn, New York and her clinical training at Lenox Hill Hospital and Kings County Hospital. She is accredited by the American Psychological Association and is the author of “Nervous Energy: Harness the Power of Your Anxiety” and “Dr. Chloe's 10 Commandments of Dating.”

Chloe Carmichael, PhD

Licensed Clinical Psychologist, Author of Nervous Energy

Expert Answer

Take action and think about healthy things you can do to deal with the things that worry you. When you can't take any more actions, start using self-statements. For example, when you're worried about your finances, but you have already done everything possible to fix them, remind yourself of what you've done. Try saying, "I've done everything I can do, the best thing for me to do now is work on solving the bigger problem."

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Tips

Don’t allow yourself to become anxious because you are worrying because it will just make matters worse. Allow yourself to worry and then try to move on from it with these methods.

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Use these methods whenever you find yourself worrying too much or for too long.

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It takes practice to eliminate worry, so keep trying these methods until they work for you.

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Warnings

Worrying can lead to depression. If you experience the signs of depression for more than a week, seek help from a mental health or medical professional.

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If you feel like harming yourself or others, call or text the suicide and crisis lifeline at 988, if you're in the United States or Canada.

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